A Few Good Things Teen Girls Might Want To Know

Believe it or not I was once a teenage girl.  I survived!  So from a been-there-and-got-the-T-shirt perspective, I want to let you in on a few secrets.

Attention can’t substitute true love.  Wearing a shirt with song lyrics on it like “I’m Sexy and I Know It- LMFAO” is NOT– may I repeat this IS NOT– sexy!  This screams your view of sexy is skewed, and you’re insecure and attention seeking.

Dating is for marriage, not for sport.  Be friends first.  Decide through friendship if this is potentially someone you want to spend your life with, then date.  (I wouldn’t recommend getting into a serious relationship before college, but that’s another post for another day).

Trying people on for size is not necessary to know which guy is a “fit” for marriage…sexually or in any other way.  God has your guy chosen already.  He’s a perfect fit for you by Divine design.  Pursue God first, then He’ll show you whose right for you.

Purity is not just about virginity, it’s about character.  [It] isn’t just about whether or not you’ve had sexual intercourse, though that’s a huge part of it.  Being a tease or sexting a guy can be just as impure as going all the way.  Why?  Because purity is a matter of what’s in the mind and heart as well as how you treat your body.  And be sure, saving yourself for your husband will save you a lot of heartache.

Modest IS hottest!  Leave room for the imagination.  Don’t give it all away right away.  Hold out for marriage.  They’re called privates for a reason, so keep them private.  Walking around with stringy tops, cleavage hanging out, and unzipped short shorts will get attention!  But I can promise it will be the wrong kind of attention.

You don’t owe him.  When you go on a date with a guy (even if he pays for everything), that does not entitle him to anything.  You owe him nothing but a “thank you” and “good night.”

Look for a guy who respects you and your boundaries, who respects himself and has control enough to wait sexually, AND who loves God.

If you feel like you’ve blown it in the purity department, it doesn’t mean you can never be pure again.  Purity comes from God.  So ask Him to forgive you and move forward.  Don’t return to it, and in God’s eyes you are as pure as if it never happened.  That’s not to say premarital sex won’t come with some consequences.  But that is to say, God forgives and forgets if you ask Him and move forward.  God doesn’t expect you to live in guilt for the rest of your life.

With every choice there’s a consequence.  All the baggage you create by the choices you make will go with you into your future.  Think first, make choices carefully.

Bad company corrupts good character.  So choose your friends wisely, and ask God to guide you in the process.

Beauty is not defined by physical appearance, though it’s totally okay to dress cute and feel good about the way you look.  Godly character makes you beautiful.  Instead of worrying about whether you’re wearing designer clothes, worry about whether you’re dressed in the ultimate Designer’s clothes…love, purity, honesty, kindness, joy, peace, patience, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control… and I’m sure there are others.  God’s duds are so much better than the world’s.

You’re worth is not defined by a boy, or how many girlfriends you have, or how popular you are!  God decides your worth, and He says you are so worthy He chose to give up His Son, Jesus, for you!

You are treasured by God.  He loves you no matter what.  He doesn’t make mistakes, and He created you beautifully.  Believe it, embrace it and live like it! 

YOU are beautiful!

25 thoughts on “A Few Good Things Teen Girls Might Want To Know

  1. Haytham Ahluwalia says:

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    credit and sources back to your webpage? My website is in the very same niche as yours and my users would truly benefit from some of the information you present here.
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    1. Rivera Douthit says:

      My youngest is a girl too Tammy. I relate to the same pressures you are feeling! May we lean on Jesus and His Word for wisdom and truth as we love our daughters through their teen years and beyond:)

  2. Mary says:

    Wonderfully stated! Young women who learn the lessons you’ve presented here will be blessed now AND in the future! There’s an old saying that relates to diet: “A moment on the lips, forever on the hips!” When it comes to the choices we make, the same holds true. Make the RIGHT choices…to follow Jesus’ example in ALL that we think, say and do…and we will forever be glad we did. Make the WRONG choices and we may live with a lifetime of regret. Your “tips” most definitely point beautiful young women in the RIGHT direction!!

  3. Olivia Wing says:

    “A few things teen girls might want to know”… I thought about and I prayed for God to show me how I really am beautiful without the make up and the clothes that are more expensive than probably my sandwich… haha. He did! He showed me my beauty in the inside. I’m glad I realize it now so I know he is caring for me. and He is protecting me from boys and other things that could harm my heart. Thanks Rivera!

  4. Trudy says:

    Thank you! I am working on a scrapbook for my daughter’s next birthday. I want her to hear all of the truths about her from me, before she believes what she hears from her peers. This had some great verbiage that I have had in my head, but was unsure how to say it. I just love it!

    1. Rivera Douthit says:

      Your feedback is a treasure to my heart. Writing isn’t always easy. Words like yours help spur me on!!

      It’s my desire that my blog encourages, equips, inspires, and more than anything points people to Jesus. So, thank you Trudy!

      Grace and blessings!!

  5. Julia Schmidt says:

    Such words of truth, and well put. Society is preaching such an opposite message, so loudly, I think it’s important for us to tell the truth even when we think it will be met with eye-rolling from the teens.

      1. Julia Schmidt says:

        I just re-read my comment — I hope that didn’t come off as a back-handed compliment, because I really didn’t mean it that way. 🙂 I applaud your desire to encourage teens in the right direction. I’m just learning lately myself not to hesitate in the face of potential eye-rolling.

        1. Rivera Douthit says:

          No, no. I didn’t take it that way at all. I knew what you meant. I’ve learned in writing and ministry, it’s impossible to please everyone. It’s territory that occasional comes with opposition… and eye rolling 😉 I guess at this point, I’m over it and willing to speak truth over people pleasing 🙂

  6. Caroline McGinnis says:

    Well put my friend but, I would like to add something that I learned from the book I’ve been reading: three points to keep in mind 1 are you dressing to be sexy; 2 to have boys look at you/notice you 3 do you dress to impress Christ

    1. Rivera Douthit says:

      Thank you for adding that Caroline, and those are certainly great questions for girls to ask. As Christians, our mind and motives should always be focused on pleasing Jesus! I agree with you!

  7. keithward1213 says:

    Know what your non-negotiables are. What you don’t set up early on as non-negotiable, you will inevitably negotiate.

    It is infinitely easier to walk away from a potential situation than it is to walk away from an actual situation.

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