A Touchy Subject: {Pardon the Pun}

For a multitude of reasons, we are uncomfortable talking about it.  We tend to forget that God created it beautifully to be shared between a man and woman within marriage.  It’s taboo, mainly because the world has twisted it.

I recently saw a movie where the couple was in counseling, and the husband admitted his sex fantasy was to have a threesome.  This is the sad reality of  today’s culture.

I’d like to offer up the idea that sex in marriage can be fantasy-like without a third-party.  And if we insist on the necessity of a third-party to spice things up, that third-party should be God Himself.  Wait a minute, before you get offended and think I’m being sac religious, hear me out!   I just mean if we put God at the center of all that we do, He’ll make it great, whatever it is…including sex!

“Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body/ do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?  For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”  1 Corinthians 6:13b, 20

We can glorify God with our bodies by having sex with our spouses.  God created it to enjoy.  He knew who our spouse would be before we did, and He created our bodies to fit perfectly together.  How awesome is that?  Not only were we fearfully and wonderfully made, so was our spouse, fearfully and wonderfully for us!

I have to admit that movie provoked my thoughts over a few barriers to intimacy in marriage.

Lack of communication.  The wife in the movie had felt for years that her husband wanted it,  but she never felt that he necessarily wanted her.  This is a problem.  If this is how you feel, please communicate. Most men are not mind readers.

 Never quite satisfied.  Guys, remember to slow down and love your wives.  Don’t rush.  Your waiting is often key to our satisfaction.

 Lack of emotional and spiritual intimacy.  Women are communicators.  So, being heard and understood on an emotional level helps us connect physically.  And as Christian women, we fall in love over and over again if our man is willing to connect with God and lead us spiritually.

 Guilt over the past.  Condemnation from past decisions or past abuse can cause major problems in marital intimacy.  There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ.  If the decision was ours, we have to allow Jesus to forgive us and forget.  If it was abuse, we need to talk to God and let Him begin healing it, so we can be free to move forward.  We can’t let it ruin intimacy with our spouse and potentially our marriage.

Body Image.  In a world saturated with porn addictions and fantasies of a threesome, it’s no wonder we feel  insecure when we look in the mirror.  No matter our size, color, or shape God created us beautifully.  We are no fantasy; we are the real deal!  Let’s be confident in that!  Understand that we are the only ones given permission by God to sexually please our husbands.

As married couples, we have the freedom to enjoy sex under God’s favor and approval.  He designed it for us.  When we make our relationship with God our priority as a couple, then every other aspect of our relationship will begin to grow.

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”  1 Corinthians 10:31 

18 thoughts on “A Touchy Subject: {Pardon the Pun}

  1. lifeofaministermom says:

    Hi Rivera,
    Thank you for your recent visit to my blog. I sincerely appreciate your support and it’s a blessing to branch out and meet such dynamic Godly women! Thank you for this article. I read it yesterday and immediately sent it too my husband. It is strange that the world flaunts its sexual immorality and too many married believers feel shame instead of celebration when it comes to sex in our marriages. All that the Lord created is good and intimacy is no exception. Thank you for the sound word!!
    With Love in Christ,

    1. Rivera Douthit says:

      Thank you Patricia! And I am “sincerely” glad to meet YOU! I love the group of awesome people God has put in my path as a result of this blog. Hope to hear from you again soon.
      Oh and thank you for sharing! Feel free to do so any time:)

  2. Pamela Healy Nogueira says:

    Yeah! This is the blog I was waiting for!!! 😉 You did an excellent job on a subject that is difficult for many to express! Naturally, your classy way. peppered the entry!!! I think this one will bless people even more than the “Fifty Shades of Grey” piece!!! Now, I can’t wait for tonight!!! 😉

  3. Mindy Bowman says:

    Touchy or no…it is a subject that should be addressed with God as the center instead of the way the world wants it to be seen. You’ve done it with great care and respect! 🙂

  4. Amy Alves says:

    Morning from Maine beautiful sister! Thank you for sharing your heart on this. After 10 years of marriage God is showing up big as the focus point! Every thing IS better with Him. Words and actions are acts of worship when given. ~ Blessings all over your mornin’ girl, Amy 🙂

  5. Mary says:

    Rivera, this is beautifully and sensitively shared, and I thank God for the courage He gives you to take on the “touchy” subjects! Well done!

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