What’s Hot?

“I don’t know about you, but I think a man with a heart after God’s is hot!”  They laughed.  I continued, “As a matter of fact, I think it’s so hot I teasingly call my husband  (whose name is David) King David!”  More laughter filled the room.  I was giving a message at a women’s event.  The teaching was about King David, his encounter with the giant as a young man, and more importantly His heart.

So how does this look?  You know, this being hot thing!  What really makes a man sexy?

Well the world will try to say it’s abs, tan, designer jeans, a certain cologne, perfect white teeth, a full head of hair, or a certain amount of money in his bank account.  Let me assure you, these are all nice to have, but they are not what’s most important, nor are they necessarily hot!

God-saturated men, and not self-saturated, are hot.  I find my husband extremely sexy!  And though I do think he’s handsome physically, he’s hot to me because he loves Jesus.


What does a Jesus-saturated man look like?  Well if you think about it, when we are consumed by or saturated with something, we begin to look more like it.  So a man who is consumed by Jesus, over time, will look more and more like Him.  But for the sake of lists, here are some examples!

He talks to God.   He spends time with Jesus.  He pursues God’s will in every aspect of his life, and he trusts Him with all he does.  I think we would agree, it’s difficult to trust someone we don’t know, and even more difficult to know someone we haven’t spent time with.  To know God, we have to spend time with Him and get to know His Word.  How do we do this? Prayer and time in the Word.

When my husband and I were dating–3000 miles apart–we interviewed one another.  I know, sounds kind of silly, doesn’t it?  Well, dating is/should be like an interview, or process of figuring out if this is the person we want to spend our life with, right?  I asked him what his life verse was at that time.  He said,

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;  in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”  Proverbs 3:5-6

Turns out, it really was his life verse.  That’s exactly how he’s lived (most of) his life.

David and Rivera

He loves selflessly.  In one word, sacrifice.  It takes sacrifice to make a marriage work.  A man who is willing to sacrifice his wants, and if necessary his life, to love his wife is hot.  If he loves like Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her,  she can’t help but be drawn to him.

He’s generous.  My husband loves by giving.  And when I think he couldn’t possibly give more, he does.  I don’t know a woman on the planet who doesn’t love gifts, at least to some degree.  But this doesn’t always have to be monetary.  To me, having his time is an even bigger gift!

He loves, teaches, and disciplines his children.  Now before you get the idea that my husband walks on water, you must know he’s got his flaws–as we all do–AND he’s a pushover!  He’s so gentle and loving, disciplining is tough for him.  Usually, this leaves me frustrated having to always be the firm one.  But, I’ve witnessed him teach our children the Word of God, regularly.  I’ve watched him pray over them at night.  I’ve seen him make jokes to diffuse their arguments.  He is a man who loves and leads his family by example.

He provides.  One who works hard, who trusts and acknowledges God as the source of all provision is sexy.

For example, my husband has a plumbing company.  He trusts God so much, he demonstrated that trust by doing away with all advertisement for his company two years ago.  The world would call this crazy.  But I know, he just knows Jesus is his ultimate Marketer and Networker.  He leans in every single day to trust Him.  And God has always been faithful to provide.


If you’re dating, look for these qualities in a man.

If you’re married, pray for these qualities in your man.  There’s no perfect guy, or marriage.  But God changes hearts and lives!  We don’t.  You may not be able to make your guy become who you want him to be.  You may not be able to make him more Christ-like in character, but God CAN!  PRAY…believing.

There was a time when I didn’t necessarily want to stay married to my husband, because “he wasn’t the same person I had married.”  I felt like he had changed so much, and at that time, I wasn’t liking who he had become.  But God changed both of our hearts and minds toward Him and toward one another.  Today, we couldn’t be happier.

If you’re a guy desiring to be the hot, God-saturated man and you aren’t sure how to begin, it’s simple.  Ask!  Just ask Jesus to help you become more like Him.  He will!

8 thoughts on “What’s Hot?

  1. Brandi Luiz says:

    I need to pray for these qualities, just like you said. Not wish and pine away for them, but PRAY that GOD puts that desire in his heart. Thank you.

  2. Sydni says:

    Thank you Rivera for this post. Thank the Lord for speaking through you. I think about this so often. I know that I could be more Christ-like in character, but I long for my husband to be as well. I long for our marriage to be more Christ-centered. I know now that I just need to pray faithfully about it.

    1. Rivera Douthit says:

      Thank you for your encouraging words Sydni. I’m humbled God chooses to speak through me. To Him be the glory! I will join you in praying specifically that God grows you and your husband closer to Him and, in turn, closer to one another. I trust He will! I’ll be excited to hear all about it:) What’s his name? I’ll write it in my journal to pray!

  3. D says:

    I admit, to my shame, that for years I was somewhat selfish in our marriage. I was interested in MY needs and desires. Convicted by the Holy Spirit this last summer, I now really try to love my wife as commanded in Eph 5:25-33, loving her selflessy and putting her needs before mine. What a wonderful difference this has made to our marriage. I see my wife in a different light and realise just how fortunate I am to have her and her love. I see a truly wonderful and beautiful woman who has captivated me completely. I thank God for her daily (aloud in her presence). Our whole relationship is so much more intimate. We actually make love more often and it is more exciting and fulfilling for both of us, just as God intended. She tells me she thinks I am the most wonderful man in the world. Oh, by the way, we are both seniors.

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