I knew when I heard his message, he wanted me to return the call. With that I knew he was probably going to be upset with me. Sure enough, words flew recklessly rooted out of hurt. My daddy needed time with his girl. I needed time with him. It was so difficult to say I couldn’t be there. Every girl needs special time with her daddy, and we haven’t had that in a while, just the two of us.
God had asked me to take the weekend to be alone with Him for writing. Saying “no for now” to do what God was asking me to do was a sacrifice and more difficult than I imagined. My dad works so much. The expectation is that we all prioritize being together at the beach house on certain holidays. After getting the blessing of my own children and husband to write for the weekend, I told God I needed my daddy’s blessing.
After heated conversation and lots of emotion from the other end of the phone, he finally let me talk. “Daddy this was NOT an easy decision for me. I went back and forth with God and in my mind all week. I knew what I was supposed to do, but I was afraid I would disappoint you. Hurting you is the last thing I ever want to do, which is why I didn’t call you sooner. I didn’t want you to be mad or upset, so I just didn’t confront it. This probably wasn’t the best way to handle it, I’ll admit. But I hoped if I avoided talking, this feeling of letting you down wouldn’t come. I really feel terrible right now and want to just give in, but I can’t. Sometimes following God takes sacrifice. I live my whole life taking care of everybody else. I’m not meaning any disrespect to you at all daddy, but I can’t live my life for people. I have to choose between people-pleasing and God-pleasing.”
I continued sharing my heart. I assured him my decision to stay away had nothing to do with me not wanting to spend time him or with family. This wasn’t me rejecting him in any way. This was me hearing God’s voice and following.
He said, “Honey, if God’s telling you to do something, then you know you have to do it. I didn’t understand everything. I didn’t know the details. I’m not mad at you. I was just feeling hurt. You know you have my blessing. (The exact words God knew I needed to hear). If I could have my way, I would have my girl with us this weekend, but I understand. If I ever got mad at you, I couldn’t stay that way. You’re my heart, you and your brother both. You are my kids, and I love you.”
Immediately, I felt the Father’s heart rush through my daddy’s words. I thought, my daddy would do anything for me. He would give me the world and move mountains to get to me. He would, no doubt, die for me if necessary. This is how my heavenly Daddy loves me, but even more perfectly. I am His, and nothing can change that!
It’s not always easy for a girl to confront her daddy, especially if there’s love and respect between them. It’s nerve-wracking not knowing how he’ll respond, if he’ll be hurt, or whether he’ll give his blessing.
We may avoid talking to our heavenly Father for fear of disappointing, fear of His response, or maybe even fear of rejection. But He assures us we can come to Him boldly and confidently any time. We often assume He already knows our thoughts and circumstances, so what’s the point? But, regardless of what He already knows, He wants to hear from us.
God longs for relationship with His babies. He desires that we come to Him specifically, so we can see Him in the answers. It’s through straightforward communication with Him that we get His blessing, and our faith grows as prayers are answered.
We may make decisions that let Him down, but His love remains.
Like the words of my earthly daddy, God says, “Honey, you are my heart.”
Tears surface at that thought.
I am His heart. So are you!
I am His favorite. SO ARE YOU!
We’re all His favorites, and nothing–no action or thought–can make Him love us any less, NOT A THING!