Do We Need “50 Shades of Grey” Or Just Black And White?

This book is supposedly the latest and greatest!  Apparently women across the board, Christian women included, are reading it!

“50 Shades of Grey.”  Hmm, I wonder what that’s all about, I pondered after my friend told me about it being the craze.  I thought, maybe it’s a book appealing to an older generation of women, thus the play on words with grey.  (I had no clue).

After reading the first few pages and tons of reviews, I got it.  Yes grey!

The 50 shades of grey in my life have been the times of the most confusion, compromise, and blatant sin.  Well this book is that exactly!  Sin.

It’s erotica, also being called “mommy porn.”   So pornographic, in fact, a few libraries in Florida have taken it off their shelves, according to NY Daily News.

So why are women, especially Christian women devouring this book?  It’s sweeping across the nation, and little grandmas are on waiting lists at local libraries to read it.  Why?  Because sex sells.  Because our culture has twisted it.  God is very clear that sex was created for intimacy and love between a husband and wife.

This book no doubt arouses the sexual senses, leaving readers with disturbing images that are difficult, perhaps impossible, to delete.  How is this healthy?  It’s playing with fire…really!

Be careful little eyes what you see!

Pornography not only interferes with clear (not to mention pure) thinking, it interferes with marriages.  It’s fantasy, not reality.  It skews sexual expectations, often making them unrealistic.  In her book, “The Secrets Women Keep,”  Dr. Jill Hubbard,  a Christian clinical psychologist, writes about the effects of sexual imagery.   Looking at images or reading explicit sexual content causes the body to respond with arousal, which is completely normal.  When this occurs we really should be thankful, because it means we’re alive and well, and the way God made us.  But Hubbard writes, “addiction occurs from a natural desire to repeat these pleasant sensations.  People become addicted to the brain’s neurochemical  response, similar to addictions to mood-altering drugs.”

All that to say, it’s easy to become addicted to the feelings achieved while reading or viewing porn.

The Bible is black and white, not grey!  It’s clear.  Lust is sin.  So the best thing to do to prevent it is stay away from it all together.  It starts with desire (in the mind), and when desire is conceived it gives birth to sin, and it grows.

“Catch the foxes for us, The little foxes that are ruining the vineyards.”  Song of Songs 2:15

 ”Little foxes…ruin the vinyards,” and little sins do harm to a vulnerable heart.  He (Christ) hides his face behind your wall of sins, a wall built with little pebbles as easily as large stones. ~Charles Spurgeon

So have I read “50 Shades of Grey?”  No.  Only the first 3-4 pages.  Do I plan to?  Absolutely not!  I was turned off after reading the profanity in the second sentence.

I get it.  We are all adults and can make our own decisions about what we read, or look at for that matter.  But if you were considering reading this book, I hope this will discourage you.  And if you’d never heard of it, I pray this post won’t present any temptation for you.

I leave you with this.

“Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone.  But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed.  Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.   Do not be deceived, my beloved (brothers and sisters).”  ~ James 1:12-16  emphasis added

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Filed under books, Faith, Inspiration, Marriage, sex, Women

Naughty Or Nice

It happened in middle school, then again in high school with a different group of girls. I was fairly popular and pretty well liked by everyone.  So I never knew why, I just knew these girls hated me and let me know it every day when they blocked the sidewalk and wouldn’t let me pass.  No words were spoken.  They didn’t have to be.  They were loud and clear.  Actions are deafening loud, aren’t they?

Bullying is abuse.  It’s degrading someone mentally, verbally, sexually or physically.

Last week I mentioned the girl they called ugly.  Now 23, she spends her life speaking out about bullying and the sometimes irreversible damage it causes.  Thankfully, she’s found purpose in her struggles and has been able to use them to help others.

Unfortunately, that’s not always the case.  Recently a local high school girl took her life, a result of social media bullying.  What?  Yes!  This beautiful young girl, who attended a local church and youth group and who had so much to live for, fell for the lies.  Now, her family and so many others are left to grieve wondering why.   What a tragedy!

It’s ridiculous, really.  Who do we think we are?  Is it our right to abuse and degrade?

Words are a gift.  The ability to speak and write them is a gift from God to encourage and bless.  Why all the slanderous talk?  Why the belittling?  Are we really so small we have to make others feel smaller so we can feel bigger? 

A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, But perverseness in it breaks the spirit.  Proverbs 15:4

Just this week, I saw a clip on the news of a local preacher misusing his tongue and platform as a minister of truth to bash gays and lesbians.  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  He suggested they all be fenced in an “electrified” fence, dropped food by flying over, and if left there long enough they would all die out.

I’m not mentioning this to spawn heated discussion about the gay lifestyle or the most recent vote on the marriage amendment.  This is not a political posting.  However, I was enraged!  This was hateful bullying with words.

No such comment toward any people group based on handicap, color, gender, or lifestyle should ever come out of anyone’s mouth, and especially not a professing Christian’s.  These comments and thoughts in no way represent Jesus-like character.  Put simply,  Jesus loves, and such behavior does not represent His love.  He gave His life to cover all our sin.

 ”This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”  John 15:12

This saddened me that a pastor would misrepresent Jesus and other Christians in this way.  Gays and lesbians are human beings.  God created them.  He loves them.   We don’t have to agree with their lifestyle to love.

And the same message goes to those who bully Christians for standing firm on God’s word as truth.  They don’t have to agree to love.

Some didn’t play nice as children and have carried that behavior into adulthood.  Christian, non-Christian, child, adult, school, work, internet, red, yellow, black and white we’re all precious in His site.  But we have a problem, don’t we?

How can we stop this bullying absurdity?

1)  The golden rule.  Treat others (even bullies) the way we would have them treat us.

2)  Kill em’ with kindness.  Hurting people hurt people.  And sometimes, ignorant people hurt people.  So consider that our enemies may not know better, or they may have lived through difficult circumstances.   We should forgive and pray for them!  “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.”  Romans 12:14

3)  Talk to our children.  I’m convinced that most problems in society start in the home.  We need to be proactively spending time with our children.  Ask if they’ve been bullied or if they’ve ever said or done hurtful things to someone else.  Then LISTEN.  Help them understand how to choose quality friends.  And demonstrate to them by example how to be a true friend and how to love the sometimes un-loveable.

4)  Ignore ignorance.  This is not to say, ignore abuse and just keep taking it.  But don’t internalize it as truth.  Look at the offender’s actions and/or words.  Then ask, what does God say about me?  Always measure lies against the Truth. Stand tall knowing as believers in Jesus and children of God we are blessed, favored, loved, forgiven and beautiful!

5)  Tell someone.  Whether we’re being victimized or making ourselves victim to our own bad choices, confessing  to someone trustworthy sheds light over the darkness of the situation and begins the healing.  Brainstorm with that person ways to overcome it or get away from it.  And most importantly, pray and let God in on it.

“Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good.  Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another,”   Romans 12:9-10

 ”The Lord is on my side; I will not fear.  What can man do to me?”  Psalm 118:6

Here’s a website I found helpful while researching for this post.

Have you or someone you’ve known been bullied or abused?  Do you have other helpful advice?

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Filed under beauty, Bullying, Faith, Family, Words of Life, Writing

Under The Cleavage

Warning!  I’m fired up!

When I heard about the teen girl (now in her twenties) who was voted “ugliest woman in the world” and plastered on YouTube, I was infuriated!!!  The video of this girl is less than 8 seconds and has over 4 million hits, probably mostly due to human curiosity.  However, some of the comments people left on this site were appalling.  Things like, “You should do yourself and everyone a favor and kill yourself!”

This shouldn’t be, but it is! 

Then there’s the airbrushed, unrealistic beauties covering billboards and store windows.  The larger than life photos of women (well girls really) wearing not much more than a handkerchief saturate our society.  Magazines covered with cleavage are plastered across every magazine rack in the world.  How are the guys in our lives, our sons and husbands in particular, expected to watch television, go to the store or walk through the mall and somehow NOT be affected by this near pornographic nonsense we call normal?  Better yet how are we as women not going to be affected by it?

Our culture has become desensitized!  And our idea of beauty is skewed.

On an average day I’m fairly content and confident with my appearance.  I figure it is what it is, and I do the best I can with what God’s given me.  But it’s difficult not to have fleeting moments of comparing ourselves when it’s in our faces in the line to buy groceries.  It’s tough not to battle thoughts of being fat, ugly, or worthless.

This shouldn’t be, but it is!

I look at the pictures of these models and think there’s a woman behind that cleavage with feelings, and no doubt, insecurities and hurts of her own.  And that girl they called ugly, my heart breaks for her.  No one, absolutely no one deserves that title!

But guess what, God sees under the cleavage into the heart.  He sees past the horrible human labels, and the ones we call ugly, He calls beautiful.  To God our sin is ugly (the judging and name-calling), but He never looks at His creation as ugly.

For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.  1 Samuel 16:7 b

Be assured God is perfect!  He doesn’t make mistakes!  And He didn’t make a mistake when He made me,  you, the beautiful girl called ugly, or the cleavage girl whose a real person too.

 He created every individual fearfully and wonderfully, with beauty as He sees it, not as we see it. 

For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.  I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works,  And that my soul knows very well.  My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret,  And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.  Psalm 139:13-15

God doesn’t care about outward beauty.  He wants our hearts, and desires they look more like His… filled with love, compassion, patience, and kindness.   Jesus was the most beautiful person to ever walk the planet earth, because He was never tainted by sin.  Yet there was no beauty that we should desire Him.  He was despised and rejected by men.  Isaiah 53:2b-3a (emphasis mine) He understands our hurts. He knows rejection.  And He recognizes true beauty, the heart kind.

This should be, and it is!

The presence of Jesus in us makes us beautiful.  Some people seem to have Holy Spirit oozing out their pores.  They light up every room they enter, and somehow being near them is like being nearer to God.

These, regardless of outer appearance, are the beautiful inspirers and the ones we should aspire to model ourselves after.

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Filed under beauty, heart, Inspiration, Jesus, Women

A Woman They Would Write About

 Grandma Lucille, my mom’s mom, told me so many wonderful stories about her parents.  Now, I’m sharing stories with my children about her.

The reunion was flowing with hugs and laughter.  It was a celebration!  I recognized some faces.  A few I remembered pinching my cheeks as a child.  But I only have one vague memory of Granny Bennett, my great-grandmother and the one we were celebrating.  She died when I was almost three. My great-grandfather died of meningitis long before I was born.  So what I have of both of them are a few pictures and stories passed down.

Arvie Lucora Greenway Bennett, my great-grandma, was a mama of eleven children and devoted her whole life to God, her family, and her church.  She walked a mile to and from Gillsville Baptist Church every time they had a service for 76 of her 88 years.

That’s amazing to me.

But even more fascinating were the stories shared by representatives from each of her children.  In a room of about a hundred people, the stories were consistent.  If you ever spent the night at granny’s, at sundown you read the Bible and prayed.  And often you were asked to recite your favorite Bible verse.  As one shared, “Most of the children fought over Jesus wept, and often got in trouble for giggling during Bible reading.”   The room filled with laughter over these and similar stories.

My grandma always said of her parents, “If my daddy and mama aren’t in heaven, I don’t have a chance.”

My great grandparents left a legacy as they taught their children and grandchildren to… love the Lord their God with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength. 

They taught the importance of prayer and hiding God’s word in their hearts.

I recently read a devotional by Anne Graham Lotz, daughter of Billy and Ruth Graham.  She wrote how the light in her mom’s bedroom always indicated that she would more than likely find her mom there on her knees in prayer.  I love that!

With every decision, we’re writing the stories of our lives.  Every time we choose to be honest.  Each time we open our Bibles.  When we seize opportunities to teach or have God conversations with our children in the ins and outs of our days.  Every single time we bow our heads or get on our knees to pray, we’re writing a story.  Just as the most vivid Bennett reunion memory is one of Bible reading and prayer, we create memories for our children.

I’m blessed with a Godly mama who was blessed with a Godly mama, who was also blessed with a Godly mama!  I want to bless my children and their children’s children.  How about you?

You may not have children, but God may have placed younger ones in your life.  You probably have opportunities staring you in the face to leave a legacy.

What kind of story are we writing with our choices?  Are we choosing to leave a legacy of blessing or curse?   A hundred years from now, what will they be saying…or writing… about us?

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Filed under Faith, Family, Inspiration, Mother's Day, Parenting, Writing